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After getting divorced, the first holiday season is often one of the most difficult experiences to go through for both parents and kids alike. During this transitional period, the holidays can intensify feelings of sadness and loss and emphasize how much life has changed. With planning, creativity, and courage, you and your loved ones can cope and maybe even enjoy the holidays this year.
Find New Traditions
The holidays will never be exactly the same for your family, but that doesn’t mean they can’t still be enjoyable. Now is the perfect time to create new traditions to make the holidays more magical than ever before. For example, if the other parent has custody on Christmas day, then make your own special Christmas Eve celebration just for you and your kids. Do something completely different from your old traditions, like volunteering for a local organization or creating holiday decorations for your new home.
Additionally, try asking your children what kinds of traditions they would like to try. During this new phase of their lives, children have difficulties expressing their needs. By listening to them and participating in something they want to do, you validate their feelings and needs while fostering a healthy environment.
Put Your Kids First
Divorced parents need to be able to put their children’s needs before their own. To do this, they should both be on the same page, especially during the holidays. Co-parents should discuss plans, whether they will be going on vacation, and who will purchase certain gifts for their children. This isn’t the time to one-up the other parent or try to be the “better” parent by giving extravagant gifts. Instead, think about what you can do to make your child have the best holiday possible, given the circumstances.
Look for Support
When your kids visit their other parent, take this opportunity to spend time with friends and family. It’s easy to avoid others when you are feeling upset, especially if you are spending the holidays alone for the first time. However, now is not the time to stay home alone. You’ll undoubtedly have more free time, which makes this is the perfect chance to reconnect with loved ones and participate in activities that genuinely make you happy.
You do not have to suffer alone after a divorce. Your friends and family are here to support you. If you struggle to discuss your emotional stress with them, consider seeking assistance from a licensed therapist. Grieving your divorce and learning to cope with how you feel is important in moving forward with your life. When you focus on improving yourself, you not only open yourself up to new possibilities, but you learn to be a better parent for your children as well.
If you need assistance with your New Jersey child custody agreement, contact the East Brunswick family law attorneys at Rozin | Golinder Law by calling (732) 810-0034 today.