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Normalizing Divorce: How to Cope With the Social Stigma of Divorce

Divorce can completely change your life. The friends that you thought you had might suddenly be ignoring you. Even your coworkers may shun you. It is not uncommon for divorcees to feel lost or unsure of their place in the world after their divorce decree has been finalized. Here are a few tips on coping with the social stigmas a divorce may be having on you.

Don't Let it Define You

A lot of people make the mistake of letting their divorce status define them. Don't fall into this trap. It's common for people to say phrases like, "Hello, I'm a divorced mother/father." That's defining yourself through a divorce. A better way to think of yourself is simply as single. "Hello, I'm a single mother/father." It doesn't matter if you were married before. You're single now. Let it empower you.

There is Nothing Wrong With You

Because getting a divorce means that your marriage didn't work, it's easy to think that you did something wrong to cause the relationship to end. This isn't the case, though. For one, it takes two people to create a marriage. You may have given your all, and it still wouldn't have succeeded if the other person wasn't putting in their share of effort.

Just because your relationship did not make it doesn't mean that you are defective or incapable of love. If you tried to make the marriage work, then you did everything that you could do. This just means that the one you thought was your life partner isn't your partner anymore, and that’s okay. The good news is that it also means your life partner is still out there.

Invest in Friends

Perhaps you lost some friends through the divorce. They may have sided with your partner. Don't sweat it. If they didn't choose you, then they likely weren't the greatest of friends either. Your attention shouldn't be placed on those you lost but those who remained. Invest in them.

The friends who stick with you and have your back during the toughest parts of your life are the ones you want to stick around. Spend some time with them and let them cheer you up. Go out, have fun, try something new, and enjoy the emotional support that they offer just by being around.

It's also a good idea to try and make new friends. Those who don't know your ex can give you a chance at having a friendship without any of the baggage associated with your old relationship.

There is Nothing to Be Ashamed Of

If you feel ashamed that your relationship has fallen apart, don’t worry -- that's normal. It's important to remember that feeling shame isn't a weakness. Instead, you can use it to motivate you to heal.

If you feel embarrassed or ashamed, allow that to let you reflect on your relationship. What were the good parts and bad parts? What can you learn from the relationship that can help you become a partner in the future? Perhaps most importantly, what has the relationship taught you in terms of the kind of partner that you do actually want?

Shame can also help you widen your perspective on other friends and family members who are going through a divorce. How can you support them?

Know You're Not Alone

While you may feel ashamed or embarrassed that your marriage didn’t work out, it's important to keep in mind that you're not alone. More marriages fail than they succeed. This means that it isn't you who did something wrong. Not all couples can last forever and not all relationships should.

Seek Legal Assistance from Compassionate Divorce Attorneys

Coping with the social stigma of a divorce can be difficult. However, by using these tips to cope, you can begin the healing process. If you are going through a divorce or are ready to begin the process, our Middlesex County divorce lawyers are here to support you through every step of the way. With our sound guidance, you can leave the complex legal troubles to us while you focus on your emotional health.

If you have questions about starting the divorce process, contact Rozin | Golinder Law today at (732) 810-0034.

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