Some may associate the end of a marriage with raging arguments, covert affairs or indefensible betrayals. However, as our Monmouth County divorce lawyers know, warning signs of divorce are frequently more subtle.
Here, we outline some of the most common indicators your spouse may be thinking about filing for a New Jersey divorce. If some of these sound familiar, you might want to consider counseling or a consultation with a divorce lawyer yourself.
Communication Stops.
Communication is critical to healthy relationships. It’s probably one of the most common threads we see in almost every divorce case.
Every couple disagrees sometimes, but it’s important that the lines of communication don’t shut down just because you’re trying to avoid an argument. No one likes to fight. But if you stop communicating, you become less attuned to and invested in how the other person is feeling.
This is a problem we often see in mediation.
Couples who can’t communicate aren’t going to have much success in mediation. Even if you plan to move forward with separation, counseling might still be a good idea, particularly if you are going to be co-parenting.
Lack of Respect.
A foundational element in any healthy marriage is mutual respect. It’s not a bad thing to have even in divorce, if we’re being honest. But lack of respect, contempt or resentment are key indicators that a marriage is breaking down.
Partners who are headed for divorce may be more impatient with each other than they were before, quicker to anger and slower to try to resolve differences. They may be increasingly impatient, critical or contemptuous. They may talk down to the other person directly or behind their back.
People get divorced for many different reasons, but we very often see people seeking divorce describing the other in sharply negative terms, often with much disdain. Many times, it comes after a loss of trust. It can be difficult to come back from that.
No Physical Intimacy.
Although appetites vary, intimacy is key to a healthy marriage, and it’s something a lot of people take for granted, especially during trying times with hectic work schedules, children, illness or traumatic events. Temporary lulls aren’t usually an insurmountable problem. However, dry spells lasting months or years are a strong indicator the marriage is on life support.
Often, this is more an indicator that one or both parties has stopped trying.
Other Divorce Drivers.
Some other strong indicators our Monmouth County divorce attorneys have taken note of over the years include:
- Infidelity (including financial infidelity).
- Changes in long-term expectations.
- Incompatibility of lifestyle changes.
- Substance abuse.
- Emotional detachment.
- An increase in escapism (more drinking, making lots of new friends, indulging in risky online behaviors, going on spending sprees, etc.).
At the end of the day, emotional and physical detachment are the two most significant flashing warning signs. Sometimes marriages can recover, but if that’s the situation in which you find yourself, you may be at a pivotal turning point.
Consulting with an experienced, compassionate New Jersey divorce attorney can help you weigh your options, protect yourself and prepare for the next step.
Call Rozin|Golinder Law, LLC today at (732) 810-0034 for a free and confidential consultation.