When you get married, you don’t go into it thinking you will get divorced. Yet, marriage does not automatically mean that you will be eternally happy. Both individuals must be committed to making the marriage work despite all the hardships there might be.
Couples will stay in unhappy marriages for many reasons. However, this usually isn’t healthy for either spouse. Although divorce is a difficult decision to make, it can sometimes be the healthiest one for you and your partner. This does not mean that every couple should get a divorce as every relationship is different. There are other options to divorce like working through your marital problems or going to marriage counseling.
You may find yourself in a situation where you are trying to decide if you should fight for your marriage or if a divorce is really what you want. Taking a step back and evaluating your marriage can help you make your decision of whether you want a divorce.
Sign 1: You’ve tried marriage counseling
Marriage counseling helps couples work through their problems with a neutral third party and gives you and your spouse resources to help your relationship grow. However, counseling doesn’t always work. Each person must put the effort in to make things work. If you have been seeing a counselor and nothing is changing in your relationship or things start to get worse after counseling, you may feel as though you want to explore other options.
A marriage counselor can help you and your spouse decide if a divorce is the right option. They are trained to give you all the information you might need to make sure that this decision is what you truly want or need.
Sign 2: You don’t see a future with your spouse
The future is full of dreams and wishes. Maybe you want to start a new career or move to a different city. Try picturing your life through these moments. Do you see your significant other by your side? If you can’t imagine them there when you accomplish your dreams, you might feel as though you need to explore moving out of the relationship.
Sign 3: Your values are different
You and your spouse don’t have to agree on everything, and realistically, no couple ever does. It can be healthy to have opposing viewpoints with your significant other. It allows you to learn and grow.
However, if your core values are opposite, you may realize you have a harder time resolving your differences. Problems like not agreeing on how many kids you want or how your finances are managed can be big indicators that you might face troubles in the future.
Sign 4: You or your spouse have cheated
When someone decides to cheat in a relationship, they are usually experiencing other problems. They turn to cheat to distract them from the real issues they have. However, when one spouse decides to be unfaithful, they can destroy their relationship. Trust is one of the most important aspects of a healthy and loving relationship, and infidelity can shatter that trust. Some couples can work through this and rebuild their marriage, but not everyone can get past the pain of a cheating spouse. In this case, ending the marriage may be discussed.
Sign 5: You don’t care anymore
After a certain point in your relationship, you might find that you don’t even care about making things work anymore. When you check out of your marriage, you aren’t working towards fixing it. Being indifferent about your marital problems can be an indicator that you want a divorce.
Sign 6: There’s abuse
No one should ever go through abuse, whether it’s physical, emotional, or sexual abuse. No matter what your situation is, abuse is never acceptable and should never be tolerated. If you are a victim of abuse you should consider protecting yourself and severing the relationship. Getting away from your abuser should be your priority to ensure you and your family's safety.
Starting the Divorce Process
At the end of the day, it is up to you to decide whether you want a divorce. It is a personal decision that shouldn’t be taken lightly. While we never promote the end of someone’s marriage, we are here for you if that is the path you decide to take. At Rozin | Golinder Law, we will address any concerns you have to make sure you feel comfortable in every step of the divorce process. Our attorneys will work tirelessly to get you the most favorable outcome for you and your family.
Call our New Jersey divorce attorneys at (732) 810-0034 today.